How to say no to a kid...?

[Astyanax]

Hey gang:

 

I was wondering for those of you who don't share your blasters during troops, what clever ways of saying "no" have you come up with when a kid wants to hold your blaster? I haven't trooped yet, but offhand, "sorry son, you can see your local Imperial recruitment office for plenty of chances to carry one of these," comes to mind.

 

What catchy no's has anyone else come up with? I thought we could collect a few here.

 

(Yes, I know, there's a difference between carrying a display weapon and a "troopable" one, but sometimes we don't have more than one! Especially if it's bigger than an E-11.)

 

Thanks!

 

Bill

Edited October 13, 2015 by Astyanax

[gmrhodes13[Staff]]

I just say "sorry I'm not allowed to let you hold it" usually works

[justjoseph63[Staff]]

It can be a bit tricky sometimes, choosing who and who not to let hold your weapon, especially if its a resin built E-11.  I have used the "I'm sorry, but Imperial regulations forbid it"  line a few times, but occasionally someone next to you has a hyperfirm and hands it over to someone, which makes you look stingy.   

[TKRalf[TK]]

I normally go with "The emperor forbids it" or something like that. Actually if anything we have been instructed by Disney out here in SoCal not to hand over blasters to anyone under any circumstances. So if parents insist we tell them our new policy.

[WhiteRoseSwampy[TK]]

I've been using "sorry, it's against imperial regulations"

[Chills[TK]]

same thing. "Sorry, but it is against imperial regulations for a stormtrooper to hand over their blaster."

[justjoseph63[Staff]]

"The Emperor forbids it..."   LOVE it, Ralf!

[Sgt_Boodles]

Actually if anything we have been instructed by Disney out here in SoCal not to hand over blasters to anyone under any circumstances. So if parents insist we tell them our new policy.

Can you elaborate on this? As a SoCal dweller this is the first I've heard of anything coming straight from Disney.

[Locitus[Admin]]

"Guns are not for children".

[The5thHorseman[501st]]

I like to say "Sorry, it's too heavy for you." After that, they watch me with respect in the eyes

[Tolo[TK]]

I usually say that they need to be heavily trained to hold a blaster.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone 6 using Tapatalk

[wingnut65[Staff]]

This gives me some great ideas for when I do get to troop with mine.  After thinking about this, I have come up with another one to use: 

 

"Sorry, Son, Imperial regulations require heavy training to handle a blaster. The last time I allowed unauthorized blaster holding, the Emperor had me cleaning out the trash compactor for a month!"

 

 

It's my idea of telling a kid 'No', and making them smile about it!

Edited October 16, 2015 by wingnut65

[Dark PWF[Staff]]

There are a few things to keep in mind. For starters, I have one of those "OMG, if you drop it, it may shatter!!!" E-11s. The most important thing is the circumstances under which the question is being asked (how old is the kid, how does he or she ask you if they can hold it, etc...")

 

Depending on the event, you may get a lot of kids (typically pre-teen boys in my experience thus far) who ask and say all sorts of crazy things focused on the blasters. "Is that a real gun?" "Can you shoot him/her with it?" "Can I hold it?" For those ones, I'm typically more snarky...

 

Is that a real gun? "Yes, it is an Imperial Issue Blastech E-11 Laser Rifle."

Can you shoot him? "No, I can't shoot him... We're not allowed to fire our weapons in public venues on this planet as part of the Imperial Status of Forces Agreement with the local Governments."

What if you shoot him on accident? "Right now? With you watching?" Yeah... "Well, if that happened, I'd have to shoot you as well. I couldn't afford any witnesses around. That would mean I'd have a lot of paperwork to fill out."

Can I hold it? "You already said that you want this other kid to be shot, and I've already told you that the weapons can't be fired here. I wasn't born last night kid... I know that you'll shoot him, and then I'll be in a lot of trouble. Sorry, that's not happening."

 

 

Little ones... Far more tricky, especially with some answers that others have already given like "someone else will allow them to do so if you don't" so I always try to stay a step ahead of that game as well.

 

Can I hold your gun? "No, I'm sorry Trooper/Princess... I can't allow you to hold the blaster. I'm sworn to protect you and everyone else here, and I take your safety very seriously. I'd feel very badly if you got hurt by it. I'll tell you what though, how about if we take a picture and I'll protect you for the picture?" (I then kneel and pose like I'm pointing the blaster at the camera (always just past it though, to the left/right/up/down... Just to be safe)

 

Adults... Heh heh heh...

 

Hey Stormtrooper, can I hold your gun? "Hold my weapon? Have you heard that there's a rebellion against the Empire?"

Yeah, of course. I... "CITIZEN, I'M PLACING YOU UNDER ARREST FOR TREASON AND SUBVERSION AGAINST THE EMPIRE. ON YOUR KNEES, HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD. NOW!"

 

Of course... Depending on the venue and the event, you've got to play it by ear a little bit.

[walt[501st]]

Just kick them to the ground and arrest them

[Lucky[TK]]

Just had a kid ask me on a troop.  I replied,  "Darth Vader doesn't allow it."

 

He replied, "But he's not here."  (Which he wasn't)

 

My reply, "He has the Force.  He always knows!"